Got Mommy Friends?

After settling back into my life shortly after having my first child, I strongly began to feel the need again to socialize.  Like most people B.C. (Before Children), I had an active social calendar - dinners with other couples, coffee with friends, shopping, last minute pedicures, long, leisurely lunches, etc.

Eager to resume these social activities, of course, I picked up the phone to call my friends. 

However, after numerous conversations with my now categorized as child-less** friends, both on the phone and in person - I found a huge issue had arose.  In a lot of ways, it now felt to me as if we had nothing in common on the surface. 

While they still spoke of long nights out, shopping sprees and other "fun" things - I was consumed with thoughts of poopy diapers, laundry and just figuring out this whole new "mom" thing I had going on. 

Don't get me wrong or misunderstand - my friends are still wonderful, fabulous people and I am still friends with them today - however; I now had a baby and they did not.  And anyone who has kids knows what I'm sayin'.  It's not a bad thing, per se...it's just different. 

Oh, just let me explain.

Since I didn't have many friends who had children, I asked myself:  "Where can I find me some mommy friends?"

To the Internet I went and discovered a web site called Meetup.com.  I joined a lovely group of moms - some of whom I immediately connected with.  We went to parks, the local zoo, had play dates and I got a chance to socialize myself and my daughter while I still worked from home part-time.

However, I found that even in that large group, it was still hard to connect with another mom "just because" you both have kids.  I mean, you don't just randomly approach strangers in the store or in public and say - "Hey, I see you have a kid.  Well, I have a kid, too, so let's be friends!" 

Yeah...it doesn't work like that.  That would be weird. 

For a few months, I continued to be an active member of the group.  Then, after a short 8 months of having figured out be a mom to one baby, I became pregnant with my second child. 

At the same time, within the larger group of moms - a smaller group had inadvertently emerged with moms who had younger children.  We all started getting closer finding we had a lot more in common and became our own little network.  It was, and is to this day, VERY nice. 

Life went swimmingly along....until about a month prior to having my second child, I was faced with a career change.  This left me (yet again) in new waters which I had never swam before....and I almost sank.  In addition to the rough economy - finding a new career path in the marketing field in addition to being 9 months pregnant just was NOT going to happen! 

(Enter my current career of Newly Nested)

Thank goodness I had my wonderful husband, my supportive parents, friends and family... 

And, yes, you guessed it.

My group of mommy friends! 

So, what is the point of me sharing all this? 

First and foremost as a stay/work-at-home mom, and secondly, as a baby planner and advisor to new and expecting parents, it is important to address concerns and issues that may (or may not) arise as the result of decisions we make - i.e. staying at home versus going back to work*. 

As wonderful an opportunity as it is, at times, staying home can also be isolating.  If anyone would had ever said to me that being with my children all day was lonely, I would have called them crazy.  Even though I considered myself to be a very social person - this happened to me and I decided to DO something about it.

So, the point of all this is to not let it get to that point.  If you find yourself in a position like I was in - a new mom looking to connect with others - here are some ideas that will get you started. 

1. Go to Meet Up.  Like I said earlier, I found my mommy-saviors there. It's fast to sign up, free and will save your sanity!  There are new groups starting everyday. 

2.  Go to the park.  There's always some friendly moms there. (And some not so friendly ones) You'll quickly find who is willing to chat and those who are not.   

3.  The library.  Another great place to meet other moms is in the children's section.  

4.  If you're breastfeeding - visit La Leche Leauge to find a chapter near you. 

5.  Visit your local town or city's web site for classes for your kids.  I found another great friend from our local Toddler Gym Class at the Park and Recreation Department.  There's also Gymboree's and other kid-gyms or music programs to check out for finding other moms. 

Who knows - you may find a new "mom" friend in the least expected places. 

So, get out there and make some mom-friends! 

Note: This post was from my original blog I started in early 2010 and switched over to this site as my main outlet for information.  I felt it was worth updating and sharing.

**Since this post was originally written, one of my very best friends who was child-less at the time has since had her first baby!

*This post and the suggestions apply to working mothers also. I am speaking from my own experiences and am not looking to start the work at home versus stay at home debate.  I support motherhood. Period.