I'm Pro-Moms. What are you?

We have all heard of them - and likely been involved in a conversation about one.

I'm talking about those "mommy wars" that just don't seem to go away.  Oh, you know the ones I'm speaking of: formula feeding vs. bottle, crying methods of sleep training vs. non-crying methods, working moms vs. stay at home moms, etc. etc.

They can rear their ugly head from just about anyone these days - even strangers can come up to you and express their (unwanted) opinions to you.

Unfortunately I come across these more often than I'd like as an occupational hazard and within my own circle of friends ;)

However, as opinionated as I am in my personal life and choices I've made along with my husband for our children - I am NOT when it comes to supporting my clients, friends or families I help along the way.

I'm not pro anything.  I believe parenting is a series of choices - most of which we tend to make on the fly or as we go.  There is no right or wrong way, per se, but I do believe in planning and researching from qualified sources as much as possible.  I do believe in getting opinions and having conversations with other moms and professionals and getting different perspectives.

I actually take back what I just said about not being pro anything.  I'm pro-MOMS.  I just support moms in general - regardless of their choices. Period.

What about you?  Has someone recently engaged you in one of those aforementioned "mommy wars"?  If so, what was it?  I would love to hear about it!

Holding onto "Me" as a Mom

There are some days when I think back to the life of leisurely dinners out with my husband and good friends, last-minute weekend trips or lounging a little longer in bed on a Sunday morning.  

Luckily, those days aren’t gone, but they have taken a back-seat to our life now with our kids. 

When you become a parent, you know it is the most amazing, life changing experience – both figuratively and literally.  You feel as if you could never love someone more.  Ever.  

Yet, somehow, while that love grew and grew for my children, somehow it diminished the “love” I seemed to show myself. 

Even though it was a choice we made, I started to feel guilty for wanting to be kid-free for a few hours and feeling I needed to be away from my children. I started to feel like something was wrong with me for feeling like that.  These are the types of things I like to call the “dark-side” of parenting. 

However, I’m here to tell you it is in fact completely normal to feel that way and it does not make you a bad parent.  In fact – it may make you a better one.  

I came across two great posts on the subject with some excellent tips:

A Post at Mommyologist

Connected Parenting

A slight part of the problem is I love being with my kids! Even though I still find it hard to take time away from my kids, it’s become something I’m very aware of now because it is healthy and important for everyone.  

So now that I’m aware of it, what am I doing about it?  I’ve decided it’s time to focus on myself again.* I’m reconnecting with my friends and making sure my husband and I continue to take time for each other. 

Additionally, my daughter is starting preschool in just a week or so now and that will be great for her, too.  In time, it will be easier as our kids get older. 

Even though I let a little piece of myself go in becoming a mother, I’ve found it’s easy to get it back and I’ve gained so much more in the “sacrifice”.

If you’re looking for a great laugh and an honest take on motherhood, check out Scary Mommy.



Me & my kiddos



Note: This was a recent column of mine from my Mom's Talk column featured on Patch

*Editor's note: Carly started a new job with Plum District and continues her baby planning business

Why Hire A Baby Planner?

I was recently featured on The Expectant Mother's Guide with an editorial I wrote that answers this question, and more!

Baby Planners: What They Do and Why You Need One

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Whether you are nearing the end of your first, second, or even third trimester ―you’re well underway with getting ready for baby’s arrival! By now you’ve quickly come to find this joyous time can be somewhat overshadowed by a lot of unanswered questions, decisions, planning and preparation. As all of these thoughts whirl around in your head, you may begin feeling a little overwhelmed ―stop right now! Take a deep breath. You should know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

Today’s society leaves expecting parents with so much pressure to make quite a lot of choices in a short period of time. Let’s face it ―nine months is not a lot of time to prepare for one of the biggest and most important milestones in your life.

There are so many sources of information for expecting parents ―an abundance of books, web sites, magazines, products, baby gear, brands and general information on pregnancy, baby and parenting. It can be exhausting to think about on top of already being tired from being pregnant!

As the days, weeks and months pass quickly, while your beautiful belly continues to grow, so does your to-do list.

So, where do you start? What should you read? Where do you register? What do you actually need for baby? What is a birth plan? What is a doula? How do decide what baby products you need? Do you need a midwife? When do you start looking for a pediatrician?

How are you to decipher it all? The answer that many have happily found is a Baby Planner.

What exactly is a Baby Planner?

A Baby Planner helps expecting parents navigate through the planning process to prepare for the arrival of baby and beyond. A Baby Planner is a complete resource of all those books, web sites and general information in one place. A Planner will provide you with guidance that is tailored to your personal needs, lifestyle and budget. A Baby Planner can also provide the most up-to-the-minute information on baby gear, furniture, nursery design, non-toxic/green baby care, childproofing and more.

Why Hire a Baby Planner?

A Baby Planner can check off many of the “to-dos” on your ever-expanding list by simply being there! Some have used the comparison that a Baby Planner does for parents what a Wedding Planner does for engaged couples. Many expecting parents are hiring a Baby Planner in order to get the right products, simplify the preparation process and to have all details taken care of from A to Z.

For example, think of all the things you accomplish on a daily basis: a long day of work, running errands, cooking dinner, exercising, cleaning, chores, etc. By the time the weekend comes around, you prefer to reserve that time for relaxing and doing things you enjoy, spending time with family and catching up on the news and favorite TV shows ― not agonizing over each of the 20 bottles that are available to register for or buy!

So now you may be asking yourself, “Why can’t my friends and family just help me?” The answer is, they will! A baby brings families close together regardless of the distance that divides them; however, not everyone is lucky enough to live near friends and family to have help on a regular basis. Baby Planners make it their first priority to stay informed of new products and trends in the industry. And while your sister may have used a certain stroller that she highly recommends and your mother-in-law never needed “silly things” such as a bouncy seat or a swing when raising her kids, it doesn’t mean their advice is relevant today (of course always appreciated, though).

The knowledge, experience and unbiased expertise that a Baby Planner provides can easily cut out multiple trips to the store or endless hours spent reading over reviews of products on the Internet. A Baby Planner allows for more time to focus on you and truly enjoying your pregnancy rather than worrying about which is the best car seat or stroller for your needs.

What do Baby Planners do?

A Baby Planner wears many hats for you as their client. One day they can be assembling your registry and recommending furniture choices for your nursery and the next day they can be arranging interviews for day cares, nannies or baby sitters. After baby is born, they can find you a lactation consultant, find diaper laundry services and set up a newborn photo session ―all while ordering, labeling and mailing out your birth announcements!

How can I determine if my family needs a Baby Planner?

Most Planners offer an initial consultation to see how they can work for you to accomplish your goals, ideas and overall vision for your pregnancy journey. A variety of packages and services will be presented to you with many of the services offered a la carte.  This allows your Planner to truly cater to what you need them to do and customize a plan that is a perfect fit.

Services can include, but are not limited to: providing individualized timelines and checklists, offering product recommendations, eco-friendly/green options, assistance with registry creation, child proofing, finding and connecting clients to medical professionals (pediatricians, doulas, lactation consultants, etc.), demonstrating products, nursery design, bed rest support, finding child care, concierge services and more.

Whether this is your first baby, you are expecting multiples, or you are expanding your family to baby number three (or more!); Baby Planning services are invaluable and extremely helpful in so many ways.

At the end of your nine months, you will have gone through one of life’s most amazing journeys.  Having a Baby Planner with you each step of the way can offer extra peace of mind when preparing for the arrival of your newborn.

Jacob & Isabella

What's in a name?  If you're looking for some inspiration, or names to avoid, you're in luck.

Today, the Social Security Administration released the top 10 boys and girls name for 2010.

Here they are!

:drumroll please:

Boys
  

1)  Jacob

 2) Ethan   

 3) Michael     

 4) Jayden     

 5) William    

 6) Alexander

 7) Noah     

 8) Daniel    

 9) Aiden     

 10) Anthony

Girls

 1) Isabella

2) Sophia

3) Emma

4) Olivia

 5) Ava

6) Emily

7) Abigail

8) Madison

9) Chloe

10) Mia

Here is the full press release from Social Security.

Got Mommy Friends?

After settling back into my life shortly after having my first child, I strongly began to feel the need again to socialize.  Like most people B.C. (Before Children), I had an active social calendar - dinners with other couples, coffee with friends, shopping, last minute pedicures, long, leisurely lunches, etc.

Eager to resume these social activities, of course, I picked up the phone to call my friends. 

However, after numerous conversations with my now categorized as child-less** friends, both on the phone and in person - I found a huge issue had arose.  In a lot of ways, it now felt to me as if we had nothing in common on the surface. 

While they still spoke of long nights out, shopping sprees and other "fun" things - I was consumed with thoughts of poopy diapers, laundry and just figuring out this whole new "mom" thing I had going on. 

Don't get me wrong or misunderstand - my friends are still wonderful, fabulous people and I am still friends with them today - however; I now had a baby and they did not.  And anyone who has kids knows what I'm sayin'.  It's not a bad thing, per se...it's just different. 

Oh, just let me explain.

Since I didn't have many friends who had children, I asked myself:  "Where can I find me some mommy friends?"

To the Internet I went and discovered a web site called Meetup.com.  I joined a lovely group of moms - some of whom I immediately connected with.  We went to parks, the local zoo, had play dates and I got a chance to socialize myself and my daughter while I still worked from home part-time.

However, I found that even in that large group, it was still hard to connect with another mom "just because" you both have kids.  I mean, you don't just randomly approach strangers in the store or in public and say - "Hey, I see you have a kid.  Well, I have a kid, too, so let's be friends!" 

Yeah...it doesn't work like that.  That would be weird. 

For a few months, I continued to be an active member of the group.  Then, after a short 8 months of having figured out be a mom to one baby, I became pregnant with my second child. 

At the same time, within the larger group of moms - a smaller group had inadvertently emerged with moms who had younger children.  We all started getting closer finding we had a lot more in common and became our own little network.  It was, and is to this day, VERY nice. 

Life went swimmingly along....until about a month prior to having my second child, I was faced with a career change.  This left me (yet again) in new waters which I had never swam before....and I almost sank.  In addition to the rough economy - finding a new career path in the marketing field in addition to being 9 months pregnant just was NOT going to happen! 

(Enter my current career of Newly Nested)

Thank goodness I had my wonderful husband, my supportive parents, friends and family... 

And, yes, you guessed it.

My group of mommy friends! 

So, what is the point of me sharing all this? 

First and foremost as a stay/work-at-home mom, and secondly, as a baby planner and advisor to new and expecting parents, it is important to address concerns and issues that may (or may not) arise as the result of decisions we make - i.e. staying at home versus going back to work*. 

As wonderful an opportunity as it is, at times, staying home can also be isolating.  If anyone would had ever said to me that being with my children all day was lonely, I would have called them crazy.  Even though I considered myself to be a very social person - this happened to me and I decided to DO something about it.

So, the point of all this is to not let it get to that point.  If you find yourself in a position like I was in - a new mom looking to connect with others - here are some ideas that will get you started. 

1. Go to Meet Up.  Like I said earlier, I found my mommy-saviors there. It's fast to sign up, free and will save your sanity!  There are new groups starting everyday. 

2.  Go to the park.  There's always some friendly moms there. (And some not so friendly ones) You'll quickly find who is willing to chat and those who are not.   

3.  The library.  Another great place to meet other moms is in the children's section.  

4.  If you're breastfeeding - visit La Leche Leauge to find a chapter near you. 

5.  Visit your local town or city's web site for classes for your kids.  I found another great friend from our local Toddler Gym Class at the Park and Recreation Department.  There's also Gymboree's and other kid-gyms or music programs to check out for finding other moms. 

Who knows - you may find a new "mom" friend in the least expected places. 

So, get out there and make some mom-friends! 

Note: This post was from my original blog I started in early 2010 and switched over to this site as my main outlet for information.  I felt it was worth updating and sharing.

**Since this post was originally written, one of my very best friends who was child-less at the time has since had her first baby!

*This post and the suggestions apply to working mothers also. I am speaking from my own experiences and am not looking to start the work at home versus stay at home debate.  I support motherhood. Period.

Big Day In Baby Planning!

The International Baby Planner Association (IBPA) is something I'm very proud to be a part of.  I was recently featured on their site for being a Premier Member! 

Today, the IBPA released that they have celebrated another successful year in establishing the Baby Planning & Maternity Concierge Services as a new industry. 

As an organization, the IBPA is the premier organization for professional baby planners and has truly established this industry to help and empower new and expectant parents. 

In keeping with professionalism and taking baby planning to the next level, the IBPA has joined forces with some of the best known experts and professionals in the country.  The IBPA's prominent Trusted Advisory board members are nationally known for their industry knowledge and include: Kara Forney founder of The Bump®, nationally recognized Pediatrician/Author Dr. Alan Greene, and organizations such as Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA), Environmental Working Group (EWG), International Association for Child Safety (IAFCS) and Stroller Strides.

Here at Newly Nested (as well as with other professional baby planners) you can expect me to provide new and expectant parents with guidance, support and offering the best advice when it comes to choosing baby gear, furniture, and products, finding the best pre- and post-natal care, birth planning, nursery design, non-toxic/green baby care, childproofing, parent coaching and more.

As the the world changes and the baby planning industry continues to grow, so will the services baby planners offer.

For a list of the IBPA Premier Baby Planner directory featuring Newly Nested and businesses in the USA and abroad view it here: Premier Baby Planning Members.

You can find the full press release here. 

Also, today, in the world of baby planning, there was a new novel released by Josie Brown called The Baby Planner.  Josie wrote the book after being inspired by many professional baby planners in today's industry.

Additionally, Rosie Pope, a maternity apparel designer, mother of two and now a Reality TV star, has her show Pregnant In Heels premiere tonight on Bravo.  With a tagline of "Drama On Board", I'm sure the verdict is still out on the show.  But if it's like any other "reality" show - we'll have to take it as it comes.  But, I'll be watching!

Newly Nested featured on IBPA web site!

I am so proud and happy to share Newly Nested was the featured Baby Planner on the International Baby Planner Association's web site this past month!

In the feature, you'll also see this picture of my wonderful family.  (For once, I'm actually in a picture with my family instead of being behind the camera!)

Here's the link to the full feature.

So what is IBPA, you ask?  The IBPA was established in 2007 to support professional baby planners by setting standards, providing networking opportunities and sharing resources thereby promoting the maternity and baby industry overall. 

I am honored to be a part of this organization as well as the opportunity to have been recognized among my peers.  Many who have paved the way for people like me to have the pleasure of being a baby planner.

  

Up and running - wahoo!

Well, I'm doing it!  I'm following my heart and starting on this new adventure in baby planning!

My web site www.newly-nested is up and running and I'm feverishly working away to get it truly going!

It's been a somewhat slow start (but I've got a GREAT excuse) but I'm committed to helping new parents enjoy pregnancy, preparation and all the planning for their baby's arrival.

More updates soon!