Babies, toddlers and TV - finally, a solution!

Ahh, yes.  It's one of those hot topics in the parenting world.

The age-old question:

"How much TV is okay to let my baby/toddler/child/teenager watch?"

And the answer you hear from every parent will vary.  Some say "none".  Some will say "too much".

But the TV/No TV debate is not the point of this post.

Whether you choose to let your babies/toddlers/kids watch TV is YOUR choice and WHAT you let them watch is also up to you.  I'm Pro-Mom, remember :)

Anywhoooo - as a side note I will share with you that both of my children have been watching TV - meaning DVDs and age-appropriate shows on toddler-friendly channels - since they were young.  My now 2 year old son was exposed to it earlier than my 3.5 year old daughter was at the same age, but that's just a result of being in the same room with the older sibling and being a work at home parent.

On to the point - the solution!

One day, when we were a one kid household, my daughter was asking for "Da-Da"- she was around 13 months old.  As he works out of the home, there was really no way for this to happen (obviously before FaceTime on iPhones).  And, since I work from home, something came up where I really needed to do something work-related that was time sensitive and needed my daughter to be entertained so I could just get something accomplished.

As I searched through the selection and debated which DVD to put on for her that would really captivate her attention for longer than the usual 5 possibly 10 minutes. Then, just as I cringed at idea of her watching more TV that day than had already been "allowed"- I came across a "genius" idea.

Genius I tell you!

It was our wedding DVD.  It was perfect for a few reasons:

• It was something she had never seen before 

• It had music, motion and people in it

• She could watch our wedding DVD and therefore see her Da-Da

• It exposed her to a new language (Hebrew) from the Rabbi who married us

With fingers crossed, I popped in the DVD and hopped on my conference call and she was mesmerized!

Aside from screaming Da-da at the TV every few minutes, I was able to get done what I had needed to do while she was entertained by the TV but with something that was family-related and a part of our family history.

Of course, now I'm even more glad we paid a bazillion dollars for the wedding videographer :)

Now, when I need to get something accomplished my kiddos are now older so it is easier to avoid using the TV as a distraction - but there are days when I need to do something urgent or cannot be interrupted every five seconds.

This is now one of my four go-to DVDs.  Since our wedding DVD worked so well, it prompted my husband to create three additional DVDs of our kids and they are a compilation of everything from us in the hospital with each of them to themselves as babies playing with toys, taking their first steps, eating their first foods and enjoying cake on their first birthdays and beyond.

So, yes, it's watching TV.  But they are watching and experiencing our family moments.

Also, watching their faces light up while watching themselves is just adorable, too.

Love Me Some Blogs Pt. 2

I shared a few of my favorites with you just the other day, but I'd like to share a few more:

Tip Junkie - http://www.tipjunkie.com/
This site makes me soooooo jealous of all the crafty people of the world. I see so many great DIY projects, organizing and decorating ideas - and their holiday ideas are great, too!

The Connected Mom - http://www.theconnectedmom.com

I enjoy her posts immensely. Not too many moms feel they can say certain things about motherhood.

On the same note, a more honest and "scary" side, is Scary Mommy - http://www.scarymommy.com/

Here, she lays it all out there - from her unique perspective. She has a book due out this April and her site is also the home of the confessional where you can anonymously post whatever you want. I mean What.Ev.Er.

One last one is Meagan Francis The Happiest Mom - http://thehappiestmom.com

She is an author and mom and offers another glimpse into mommy-hood honestly and offers realistic ways to keep it all together. She also shares how to keep the focus on yourself, too.

I'm Pro-Moms. What are you?

We have all heard of them - and likely been involved in a conversation about one.

I'm talking about those "mommy wars" that just don't seem to go away.  Oh, you know the ones I'm speaking of: formula feeding vs. bottle, crying methods of sleep training vs. non-crying methods, working moms vs. stay at home moms, etc. etc.

They can rear their ugly head from just about anyone these days - even strangers can come up to you and express their (unwanted) opinions to you.

Unfortunately I come across these more often than I'd like as an occupational hazard and within my own circle of friends ;)

However, as opinionated as I am in my personal life and choices I've made along with my husband for our children - I am NOT when it comes to supporting my clients, friends or families I help along the way.

I'm not pro anything.  I believe parenting is a series of choices - most of which we tend to make on the fly or as we go.  There is no right or wrong way, per se, but I do believe in planning and researching from qualified sources as much as possible.  I do believe in getting opinions and having conversations with other moms and professionals and getting different perspectives.

I actually take back what I just said about not being pro anything.  I'm pro-MOMS.  I just support moms in general - regardless of their choices. Period.

What about you?  Has someone recently engaged you in one of those aforementioned "mommy wars"?  If so, what was it?  I would love to hear about it!

Little moments

I miss the days of my now 3 year old and 22 month old when they were newborns. So soft, snuggly and, well - new.

Every now and again I catch a glimpse of those babies that will always be there - despite the whining, crying and fun associated with toddlers.

Today I caught one of those moments - these little moments that I get every day in different ways - that remind me not to take things for granted. Not to yell so much or expect too much from them. To let them just be kids - and to just be.

It's these little moments I treasure. And today, I caught a glimpse of my babies again while they peacefully napped. With our fur-baby not too far away - protecting, as usual.

Holding onto "Me" as a Mom

There are some days when I think back to the life of leisurely dinners out with my husband and good friends, last-minute weekend trips or lounging a little longer in bed on a Sunday morning.  

Luckily, those days aren’t gone, but they have taken a back-seat to our life now with our kids. 

When you become a parent, you know it is the most amazing, life changing experience – both figuratively and literally.  You feel as if you could never love someone more.  Ever.  

Yet, somehow, while that love grew and grew for my children, somehow it diminished the “love” I seemed to show myself. 

Even though it was a choice we made, I started to feel guilty for wanting to be kid-free for a few hours and feeling I needed to be away from my children. I started to feel like something was wrong with me for feeling like that.  These are the types of things I like to call the “dark-side” of parenting. 

However, I’m here to tell you it is in fact completely normal to feel that way and it does not make you a bad parent.  In fact – it may make you a better one.  

I came across two great posts on the subject with some excellent tips:

A Post at Mommyologist

Connected Parenting

A slight part of the problem is I love being with my kids! Even though I still find it hard to take time away from my kids, it’s become something I’m very aware of now because it is healthy and important for everyone.  

So now that I’m aware of it, what am I doing about it?  I’ve decided it’s time to focus on myself again.* I’m reconnecting with my friends and making sure my husband and I continue to take time for each other. 

Additionally, my daughter is starting preschool in just a week or so now and that will be great for her, too.  In time, it will be easier as our kids get older. 

Even though I let a little piece of myself go in becoming a mother, I’ve found it’s easy to get it back and I’ve gained so much more in the “sacrifice”.

If you’re looking for a great laugh and an honest take on motherhood, check out Scary Mommy.



Me & my kiddos



Note: This was a recent column of mine from my Mom's Talk column featured on Patch

*Editor's note: Carly started a new job with Plum District and continues her baby planning business

Tackling Toy Clutter

If you have a toddler (or in my case two toddlers) you have often wondered or said the following:

"Why does it look like Toys R Us threw up in my living room?"

"How can such a small person make such a huge mess?"

"Ugh!  I just cleaned in here! Why do I bother?"

You get the picture. 

A personal favorite quote of mine is: "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." ~Phyllis Diller

Unfortunately, cleaning is a necessary evil.  I know I personally can't go to sleep at night knowing that there are dirty dishes in the sink (soaking pans are okay in my book).  

I literally will not be able to fall asleep if the play room is a mess and there are toys strewn about everywhere.  So, pretty much every night, without fail, I tidy up before I go to bed.  

Wait!  Before you think I'm a complete neat-freak and obsessive, I promise you, I'm not. 

I just can't stand walking downstairs first thing in the morning (un-caffeinated) to a huge mess!  And lord help someone if I happen to *step* on a random toy -ouch! 
That's the worst - you know!

After doing this for a few years now, I do not consider myself an organizational queen by any means, but I have picked up a few tips and tricks along the way. 

I feel it is my duty as a fellow Mommy, baby planner and human being to share my toy organization with you.  It has made cleaning up easier - and most importantly, my kids can HELP with the clean up process. 

Here is how I organize our toys:

1. Categorize your toys that you need containers for ex. balls, blocks, cars, etc.
2. Go to the local dollar store and pick out some colorful buckets and baskets.
3. Find some construction paper or index cards.  (I used old holiday cards I wasn't going to use and cut them in half)
4. Pick out a few crayons, markers and sharpies.
5. Grab a hole punch and some sort of string or some scotch tape.
6. Dig deep into that elementary school part of you and draw some pictures!

The the end result of the six steps above should look something along the lines of this:

Please ignore the horrible drawings! 
Art clearly was not my strong suit.

Ball basket

This three drawer was bought at a Target, but I actually had
this before we had our kids.



Cars and Little People 



Kitchen Accessories & Food
(Um, yes, those mini M&M's were
purchased as bribery for something!)



Full view of one set of shelves



Phones, Keys & Remotes
(As we all know, they always want the REAL one anyways)

Musical Instruments
(This is the Parents brand Bee Band - super cute!)
*Sorry, I could not get this picture to be centered
for some formatting reason! Grrr!

So, as you can see, everything has a place for the most part.  This not only allows the kids to help put things away as they are labeled with words AND pictures - it also helps when you have friends over, a play date or a party and people don't have to bother you every five seconds to find out what goes where! 

Genius.

Of course, I can't take credit for inventing this system - it's not original.  However, it works for us.  And that's really the key to parenting, isn't it?  Finding what works for YOU.

Don't forget to also periodically go through all those toys and pass them along to friends, organize toy swaps, sell at tag sales or place on Freecycle.  I frequently do all the above and also pass along toys to local charities.

This "system" for lack of a better word was not expensive to create, either.  You can even use containers, Rubbermaid storage bins (I used one for the kitchen toys) or whatever you have laying around.  But I do love the dollar store!

Do you have any toy organizing tips?  If you do, I'd love to hear them.

Are you aware?

May is Pregnancy Awareness Month!

Pregnancy Awareness has some great giveaways going on all month long to celebrate! 

So head on over there and check out their educational information and enter to win some great prizes from Seventh Generation and Plum Organics!  There are contests running all month long, too.

Go ahead and celebrate moms everywhere - new moms, expecting moms and all the future moms out there!  Pregnancy Awareness will feature this month-long campaign by focusing on their key initiatives of: 

1. Education
2. Exercise
3. Nutrition & Wellness
4. Nurture

Know someone who would enjoy this information?  Please feel free to share.

P.S. Mother's Day is May 8th!

Got Mommy Friends?

After settling back into my life shortly after having my first child, I strongly began to feel the need again to socialize.  Like most people B.C. (Before Children), I had an active social calendar - dinners with other couples, coffee with friends, shopping, last minute pedicures, long, leisurely lunches, etc.

Eager to resume these social activities, of course, I picked up the phone to call my friends. 

However, after numerous conversations with my now categorized as child-less** friends, both on the phone and in person - I found a huge issue had arose.  In a lot of ways, it now felt to me as if we had nothing in common on the surface. 

While they still spoke of long nights out, shopping sprees and other "fun" things - I was consumed with thoughts of poopy diapers, laundry and just figuring out this whole new "mom" thing I had going on. 

Don't get me wrong or misunderstand - my friends are still wonderful, fabulous people and I am still friends with them today - however; I now had a baby and they did not.  And anyone who has kids knows what I'm sayin'.  It's not a bad thing, per se...it's just different. 

Oh, just let me explain.

Since I didn't have many friends who had children, I asked myself:  "Where can I find me some mommy friends?"

To the Internet I went and discovered a web site called Meetup.com.  I joined a lovely group of moms - some of whom I immediately connected with.  We went to parks, the local zoo, had play dates and I got a chance to socialize myself and my daughter while I still worked from home part-time.

However, I found that even in that large group, it was still hard to connect with another mom "just because" you both have kids.  I mean, you don't just randomly approach strangers in the store or in public and say - "Hey, I see you have a kid.  Well, I have a kid, too, so let's be friends!" 

Yeah...it doesn't work like that.  That would be weird. 

For a few months, I continued to be an active member of the group.  Then, after a short 8 months of having figured out be a mom to one baby, I became pregnant with my second child. 

At the same time, within the larger group of moms - a smaller group had inadvertently emerged with moms who had younger children.  We all started getting closer finding we had a lot more in common and became our own little network.  It was, and is to this day, VERY nice. 

Life went swimmingly along....until about a month prior to having my second child, I was faced with a career change.  This left me (yet again) in new waters which I had never swam before....and I almost sank.  In addition to the rough economy - finding a new career path in the marketing field in addition to being 9 months pregnant just was NOT going to happen! 

(Enter my current career of Newly Nested)

Thank goodness I had my wonderful husband, my supportive parents, friends and family... 

And, yes, you guessed it.

My group of mommy friends! 

So, what is the point of me sharing all this? 

First and foremost as a stay/work-at-home mom, and secondly, as a baby planner and advisor to new and expecting parents, it is important to address concerns and issues that may (or may not) arise as the result of decisions we make - i.e. staying at home versus going back to work*. 

As wonderful an opportunity as it is, at times, staying home can also be isolating.  If anyone would had ever said to me that being with my children all day was lonely, I would have called them crazy.  Even though I considered myself to be a very social person - this happened to me and I decided to DO something about it.

So, the point of all this is to not let it get to that point.  If you find yourself in a position like I was in - a new mom looking to connect with others - here are some ideas that will get you started. 

1. Go to Meet Up.  Like I said earlier, I found my mommy-saviors there. It's fast to sign up, free and will save your sanity!  There are new groups starting everyday. 

2.  Go to the park.  There's always some friendly moms there. (And some not so friendly ones) You'll quickly find who is willing to chat and those who are not.   

3.  The library.  Another great place to meet other moms is in the children's section.  

4.  If you're breastfeeding - visit La Leche Leauge to find a chapter near you. 

5.  Visit your local town or city's web site for classes for your kids.  I found another great friend from our local Toddler Gym Class at the Park and Recreation Department.  There's also Gymboree's and other kid-gyms or music programs to check out for finding other moms. 

Who knows - you may find a new "mom" friend in the least expected places. 

So, get out there and make some mom-friends! 

Note: This post was from my original blog I started in early 2010 and switched over to this site as my main outlet for information.  I felt it was worth updating and sharing.

**Since this post was originally written, one of my very best friends who was child-less at the time has since had her first baby!

*This post and the suggestions apply to working mothers also. I am speaking from my own experiences and am not looking to start the work at home versus stay at home debate.  I support motherhood. Period.

Life is as easy (or as hard) as you make it

Whenever I am out and about with my two under two - I get stopped at least once or twice by complete strangers who comment on how I "must have my hands full" or "wow, you must be busy."  But, I have to say, my favorite question from moms, past and present, is "how do you do it?" 

This brings me to my new philosophy on life that I'd like to share.  Well, it's not new....but it is new to me.

And that philosophy is that life is what you make it to be. 

Seems like an easy concept to understand and grasp for most people...but in reality, it's a harder concept to apply.


On a daily basis, I now make the concioius effort to either make things easier or harder for myself.  I have come to realize (and most importantly, accept) that I need to just pick and choose my battles with Ethan (who doesn't put up much of a fight - yet) Hailey (who always puts up a fight), Kona the dog (who does NOT listen whatsoever) my husband (surprisingly we rarely fight) - and even battles with myself. 

But I wasn't always this accepting of changing my set-in-stone ways.  It takes time and lots and lots of patience - but every day is well worth the effort of making my life as easy (or as hard) as I want it to be.